Anonymous Confession

Sure maybe. Anything's possible.
I went into a deeper explanation, saying the other person isn't the worst, and said maybe annoying wasn't the right word. Hard to put all of the back story in a quick comment. If anything, I meant it was annoying that plans get changed at the last minute. Going in expecting to have quality one on one time with someone, then finding out a third party is coming that is going to dominate the conversation and/or affect/change where we are going/what we are going to do can be disappointing sometimes.

maybe your the annoying friend

LOL, no need to apologize. I do the same all the time. I've noticed some of my comments and replies never show up on here as well, or they get repeated.

Oh gosh sorry about the repeat. Everytime I tried to post it would just keep loading and not show up so I would retry at other times.
Thanks. Best wishes to you. Hopefully I can return the favor when you have something to vent about. Yes, it's true. Only you can protect your peace. Take care.

No problem, everyone needs someone to vent to once in awhile. I'm just happy that you found something in my ramblings that made sense and might have helped. I'll check back from time to time to see how your doing. Take care, and remember that you have to be happy most of all, dont worry what others think. Smile and have a wonderful day.

Thanks for your thoughtful reply. Sorry for the gap in response time. An event came up recently that began as a short meet up between us that turned into a much longer more involved trip with the friend of my friend. I didn't mention my reasonings, but I suspect perhaps some disappointment in my voice was not as well hidden as usual and my friend may have picked up on it. After the conversation, sure there was some feelings and I kind of just sat. I thought about it and I felt better when I decided to gracefully step back a little and not partake in the whole trip but promised to meetup with everyone for a day or so. And so with that compromise I choose peace because I just don't want the embattled feelings it all brings. I might have a conversation with this friend in the near future.
I appreciate you telling me the details about your situation. There are some similarities for sure. I'm glad in the end everything worked out with your friendship. Good on you for saying something and figuring it out. Thank you for saying so, I'd say the same of your heart as someone who also tried to befriend the other friend, was wanting to avoid tension, and was thinking of everyone involved.
Best wishes.

Thanks for your thoughtful reply. Sorry for the gap in response time. An event came up recently that began as a short meet up between us that turned into a much longer more involved trip with the friend of my friend. I didn't mention my reasonings, but I suspect perhaps some disappointment in my voice was not as well hidden as usual and my friend may have picked up on it. After the conversation, sure there was some feelings and I kind of just sat. I thought about it and I felt better when I decided to gracefully step back a little and not partake in the whole trip but promised to meetup with everyone for a day or so. And so with that compromise I choose peace because I just don't want the embattled feelings it all brings. I might have a conversation with this friend in the near future.
I appreciate you telling me the details about your situation. There are some similarities for sure. I'm glad in the end everything worked out with your friendship. Good on you for saying something and figuring it out. Thank you for saying so, I'd say the same of your heart as someone who also tried to befriend the other friend, was wanting to avoid tension, and was thinking of everyone involved.
Best wishes.

Thanks for your thoughtful reply. Sorry for the gap in response time. An event came up recently that began as a short meet up between us that turned into a much longer more involved trip with the friend of my friend. I didn't mention my reasonings, but I suspect perhaps some disappointment in my voice was not as well hidden as usual and my friend may have picked up on it. After the conversation, sure there was some feelings and I kind of just sat. I thought about it and I felt better when I decided to gracefully step back a little and not partake in the whole trip but promised to meetup with everyone for a day or so. And so with that compromise I choose peace because I just don't want the embattled feelings it all brings. I might have a conversation with this friend in the near future.
I appreciate you telling me the details about your situation. There are some similarities for sure. I'm glad in the end everything worked out with your friendship. Good on you for saying something and figuring it out. Thank you for saying so, I'd say the same of your heart as someone who also tried to befriend the other friend, was wanting to avoid tension, and was thinking of everyone involved.
Best wishes.

Thanks for your thoughtful reply. Sorry for the gap in response time. An event came up recently that began as a short meet up between us that turned into a much longer more involved trip with the friend of my friend. I didn't mention my reasonings, but I suspect perhaps some disappointment in my voice was not as well hidden as usual and my friend may have picked up on it. After the conversation, sure there was some feelings and I kind of just sat. I thought about it and I felt better when I decided to gracefully step back a little and not partake in the whole trip but promised to meetup with everyone for a day or so. And so with that compromise I choose peace because I just don't want the embattled feelings it all brings. I might have a conversation with this friend in the near future.
I appreciate you telling me the details about your situation. There are some similarities for sure. I'm glad in the end everything worked out with your friendship. Good on you for saying something and figuring it out. Thank you for saying so, I'd say the same of your heart as someone who also tried to befriend the other friend, was wanting to avoid tension, and was thinking of everyone involved.
Best wishes.

Thanks for your thoughtful reply. Sorry for the gap in response time. An event came up recently that began as a short meet up between us that turned into a much longer more involved trip with the friend of my friend. I didn't mention my reasonings, but I suspect perhaps some disappointment in my voice was not as well hidden as usual and my friend may have picked up on it. After the conversation, sure there was some feelings and I kind of just sat. I thought about it and I felt better when I decided to gracefully step back a little and not partake in the whole trip but promised to meetup with everyone for a day or so. And so with that compromise I choose peace because I just don't want the embattled feelings it all brings. I might have a conversation with this friend in the near future.
I appreciate you telling me the details about your situation. There are some similarities for sure. I'm glad in the end everything worked out with your friendship. Good on you for saying something and figuring it out. Thank you for saying so, I'd say the same of your heart as someone who also tried to befriend the other friend, was wanting to avoid tension, and was thinking of everyone involved.
Best wishes.

Thanks for your thoughtful reply. Sorry for the gap in response time. An event came up recently that began as a short meet up between us that turned into a much longer more involved trip with the friend of my friend. I didn't mention my reasonings, but I suspect perhaps some disappointment in my voice was not as well hidden as usual and my friend may have picked up on it. After the conversation, sure there was some feelings and I kind of just sat. I thought about it and I felt better when I decided to gracefully step back a little and not partake in the whole trip but promised to meetup with everyone for a day or so. And so with that compromise I choose peace because I just don't want the embattled feelings it all brings. I might have a conversation with this friend in the near future.
I appreciate you telling me the details about your situation. There are some similarities for sure. I'm glad in the end everything worked out with your friendship. Good on you for saying something and figuring it out. Thank you for saying so, I'd say the same of your heart as someone who also tried to befriend the other friend, was wanting to avoid tension, and was thinking of everyone involved.
Best wishes.

Ok, had time to think about the whole picture, and can see where you are coming from (after more coffee)LOL!!!. I had a similar situation years ago, and like you tried to make the friendship work, without causing any problems or tension with the relationship of all concerned. I also tried making friends with the other person, but this didnt work for me, even though we did get along on a surface level. I did start slowly distancing myself from the one friend that I really liked, and they started noticing this and called me one night about it. I explained how I was starting to feel like the third wheel in this friendship, and that I decided to give them some space so that the two of them "alone" could work it out, without me. It wasn't long before they realized that I was actually a buffer between them, and they parted ways. Our friendship grew after that, and are still friends to this day. I know that this might not help in your exact situation, but thought that it might help. I really hope the best for you and your friend, hang in there and stay positive. From chatting this short time with you, I can see that they would miss having your friendship in their life. You have a large caring heart.

No problem, thats what we are all here for is to get answers and to voice ourselves. Your last reply gave me a bit more incite, and I will thank more about an answer before my next response. Hang in there.

Thank you for your response.
In some ways it's a hard thing to say to this friend because once you say it, it's out there, you can't take it back, and it colors future situations. This other person will presumably always be in my friend's life, based on certain things they have said and done which would have been a deal breaker for me long ago. As in, if they are still friends throughout all that, that person is not going away anytime soon. So if I say something, if we are all together, it will be uncomfortable. If we are not it will be because my friend had to be sure to make separate plans purposefully omitting the other one, then I'm the jerk for requesting this.
They have a history and I respect that. I am not looking to replace anyone. I simply want to spend time with the one I am actually friends with, trust to speak with about certain topics and can be my full self with. The other person isn't terrible, we've had some laughs, I've even made efforts to just spend time with them. More chaotic, than annoying. But in the end, without this person we both have in common, this other person would most likely not be in my orbit.

Have you talked with your friend about how you feel about the additional friends being added at the last minute? I've had a similar experience before.