I’m an overweight young woman in my early 20’s, whose been overweight her whole life and my mom is a very beautiful, very fit 50 year old woman who is in a very loving marriage who still gets hit on and complemented by men who are in their 20s. Same age as her adult son. We laugh and joke about it when she mentions her funny encounters with men whom are half her age who stop her on the street to tell her how beautiful she is but deep down this makes we want to jump off a cliff (not suicidal). It makes me so insecure considering the fact that I’ve never been complemented or hit on by a guy as a woman in her 20s. Always friend zoned or silently rejected. So the fact that guys my age are hitting on my mom who is very much not interested in them and the same age as their mom, is making feel so unwanted and ugly. Like I failed as a 20 year old woman to appear desirable. I love my mom to death and I’m not jealous of her but this thought of “unwantedness” is always in the back of my mind even if I laugh about with her. I’m starting my weight loss journey in a few days (3rd times the charm) but even if I lost all the weight I feel like the fat girl in me will always remember how lonely and undesirable she felt in the past, her 50 year old mom preferred over her. This is a very vulnerable thought I have and I know I’ll never be able to tell her because it would break her heart.
Noooo weight loss drugs! Please ignore that comment that mentioned that.
I'm fit and muscular and definitely appreciate a chubby woman.
Tell yourself every day that you are lovely, you are loveable and you deserve love. Reprogram yourself : ))
I agree with the 6'3" guy! I'm 5'10" and muscular with a 6 pack and have dated overweight and obese women in the past, as well as regular and slim. If I like a woman, I like them. Attraction for me doesn't have a formula or type. Though I do appreciate big boobs and bum, so that's something a chubboer woman potentially has an advantage with. Another commenter mentioned weight loss drugs.. Please DON'T even think about weight loss drugs they're fucking hoorible dangerous toxic and harmful.
Better to be fat and healthy than slim and sick handicapped or dead.
Best to you, and start telling yourself you are lovely loving and deserving of love!! Tell yourself that so often that it reprograms you!!
Most of my fat girl friends never really dated or got married... I know at least 4 who just gave up in their late 30s and got knocked up by random African immigrants because they wanted a baby so bad.
Just saw your comment, honestly thank you, it made me feel better that there are guys out there like you who care about personality other than just how a person’s body is shaped. Also did not expect a guy to take his time and write a comment since I haven’t met very considerate, thoughtful male figures in my life but thank you for giving me hope and motivation. I hope I meet a decent guy who loves me for who I am no matter what shape or size I am, since that’s what true love is about. And yes, big boobs are a plus hehe (also still on my weight loss journey, praying that the girls stay the same size hehe).
Sorry. Accidentally posted that comment three times. I swear I am real and not AI or anything lmao
I'm a relatively conventionally attractive dude (6'3", okay features and thin and in decent shape), and I love fat ladies. My last girlfriend was on the heavier side of overweight which was no issue for me at all, personally. Trimmer ladies usually turn me on a bit more, but fat ladies tend to have great personalities imo, and big boobs and butts are fun for me even if they're very flabby. I'm a firm believer that there's something to love in every person's body.
My advice is, try chatting with a lot of dudes and sussing out what their attitudes toward body image are. See if they care about eating disorders and beauty standards or not by bringing that stuff up flippantly and gauging their responses. Also, make sure you aren't too picky about how they look, either!
The podcast Maintenance Phase has some really good stuff about anti-fat bias should you be looking to learn more and have your experience as a fat person supported.
Wishing you well. Please know, there are decent dudes out there. We tend to be a bit shy, but we do exist. There's a pot for every lid.
I'm a relatively conventionally attractive dude (6'3", okay features and thin and in decent shape), and I love fat ladies. My last girlfriend was on the heavier side of overweight which was no issue for me at all, personally. Trimmer ladies usually turn me on a bit more, but fat ladies tend to have great personalities imo, and big boobs and butts are fun for me even if they're very flabby. I'm a firm believer that there's something to love in every person's body.
My advice is, try chatting with a lot of dudes and sussing out what their attitudes toward body image are. See if they care about eating disorders and beauty standards or not by bringing that stuff up flippantly and gauging their responses. Also, make sure you aren't too picky about how they look, either!
The podcast Maintenance Phase has some really good stuff about anti-fat bias should you be looking to learn more and have your experience as a fat person supported.
Wishing you well. Please know, there are decent dudes out there. We tend to be a bit shy, but we do exist. There's a pot for every lid.
I'm a relatively conventionally attractive dude (6'3", okay features and thin and in decent shape), and I love fat ladies. My last girlfriend was on the heavier side of overweight which was no issue for me at all, personally. Trimmer ladies usually turn me on a bit more, but fat ladies tend to have great personalities imo, and big boobs and butts are fun for me even if they're very flabby. I'm a firm believer that there's something to love in every person's body.
My advice is, try chatting with a lot of dudes and sussing out what their attitudes toward body image are. See if they care about eating disorders and beauty standards or not by bringing that stuff up flippantly and gauging their responses. Also, make sure you aren't too picky about how they look, either!
The podcast Maintenance Phase has some really good stuff about anti-fat bias should you be looking to learn more and have your experience as a fat person supported.
Wishing you well. Please know, there are decent dudes out there. We tend to be a bit shy, but we do exist. There's a pot for every lid.
These new weight loss drugs are amazing. Good luck
Great you are not deterred and are planning to lose weight. I find it difficult to think of a more admirable endeavour than an overweight person training in a gymn or jogging along a path. I think it is so admirable! I wish and pray for your total succes on your sure way to health.